Why Self-Care is a Necessity, Not an Extravagance

Self-care is that one phrase that continues to pop up everywhere. It is seen on social media, at doctor’s offices, gyms, and more. But real self-care encompasses much more than that. Deep down, at the heart of it, self-care is about taking care of your emotional, physical, and mental wellness. When this is done, we can be present in our lives in a more sustainable and healthier manner.

Self-care is especially important for new moms (and moms of all ages too!) and for those who provide care to others, such as therapists. As a new mom, self-care can feel as though it can never happen. Between caring for an infant, possibly going back to work, managing a household, and navigating changing relationships, there is almost no time for yourself. And to add even more to this dynamic, society sends moms mixed messages: “Be the perfect mom by snapping back and not complaining”. So, if society is sending this kind of message, no wonder it is common that a lot of mothers feel guilty about taking time for themselves. 

But here is the important stuff: self-care makes you a better parent. When moms prioritize and take care of their own needs, they can be more present, have more emotional energy, and most important of all, patience. Another benefit of self-care is improved relationships with partners, friends, and family members. Burnout is reduced, you have reinforced physical health, and sense of identity can be restored. Remember, you are so much more than just a “mom”! 

Self-care is equally as important for helping professionals, such as therapists. A 2022, research study found that over half of therapists experienced burnout in the past year. This was caused by factors such as high caseloads, difficult topics covered in sessions, workplace stress, and systemic barriers. Many therapists also experience what is called vicarious trauma, which can be described as the emotional impact that happens when we listen and hold space for our client’s pain. Empathy and compassion are powerful tools as therapists, but it can also be draining if not counteracted with care. Self-care isn’t optional, ethically speaking for therapists. Therapists are required to monitor themselves for possible signs of impairment and burnout. It is part of doing the job responsibly. You truly cannot pour into an empty cup. 

Now that all of that has been covered, what does meaningful self-care look like? It does not have to entail anything extravagant or time-consuming. It can be small things like going for a 10-minute walk, asking for help, getting plenty of sleep and not feeling guilty about it. For moms, this could look like identifying any personal barriers to self-care and attempting to address them. As a therapist, this could mean doing check-ins with ourselves, seeking consultation if needed, and maintaining professional boundaries. 

Now how can your therapist help you implement self-care? That can be accomplished by modeling. As therapists, we cannot effectively encourage our clients to care for themselves if our battery is running low. Likewise, when moms take care of themselves, they convey a powerful message to their children about the importance of balance, rest, and self-regard. 

Some good questions to ask yourself are: What is an early warning sign that your“battery” is almost at E? And what is one, small, realistic commitment you can make to your own care this week? Remember, self-care is not egocentric – it is a necessity.

References

Abramson, A. (2021). The ethical imperative of self-care. American PsychologicalAssociation. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/04/feature-imperative-self-careAmerican Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics. American CounselingAssociation. https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/default-document-library/ethics/2014-aca-code-of-ethics.pdfBarkin, J. L., & Wisner, K. L. (2013). The role of maternal self-care in new motherhood.Midwifery, 29(9), 1050–1055. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2012.10.001Barron, J. (2023, October 2). Therapists Are Burning Out—Here’s Why, What theImpact Is, and How to Help. SimplePractice.https://www.simplepractice.com/blog/therapist-burnout-report/Bourne, J. (2021, March 18). Self-Care for Therapists: 12 Strategies for PreventingPractitioner Burnout. PositivePsychology.com.https://positivepsychology.com/self-care-strategies-therapists/Daw, J. R., MacCallum-Bridges, C. L., & Admon, L. K. (2025). Trends and Disparities inMaternal Self-Reported Mental and Physical Health. JAMA Internal Medicine.https://doi.org/10.1001/jamainternmed.2025.1260Posluns, K., & Gall, T. L. (2019). Dear mental health practitioners, take care ofyourselves: A literature review on self-care. International Journal for theAdvancement of Counselling, 42(1), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10447-019-09382-wPractice Research and Policy Staff. (2018, January 25). Research roundup: Burnout inmental health providers. Https://Www.apaservices.org.https://www.apaservices.org/practice/update/2018/01-25/mental-health-providersQuitangon, G. (2019, July 26). Vicarious Trauma in Clinicians: Fostering Resilience andPreventing Burnout. Psychiatric Times.https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/vicarious-trauma-clinicians-fostering-resilience-and-preventing-burnout