Pregnancy & Infant Loss: Is My Grief ‘Normal’?

Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Is My Grief “Normal”?

A pregnancy journey has its peaks and valleys. Pregnancy loss is a valley that can be challenging to navigate. You may experience moments of disappointment, anger, shame, or guilt. You may also experience both acute and complicated grief.

Acute grief is commonly experienced after a pregnancy and infant loss. This grief can look like reflecting on what could have been, feeling sad or upset about the loss, or a sense of disbelief or shock about what happened. Eventually, those intense feelings lessen over time as you accept what happened and begin to feel more hopeful for the future. This normal type of grief continues to be a part of your ongoing life but it doesn’t overtake your mood or your ability to function throughout the day.

Complicated grief, on the other hand, is persistent and intense. It can look like intense sadness, ruminations focused on angry or guilty thoughts about the loss, or the constant need to reminisce about the pregnancy. This could include viewing or touching items that were brought for the baby. You may be emotionally numb and no longer have the ability to see happiness for yourself. Complicated brief is typically identified at least six months or more after the loss. There is no perfect timeline for grief but the intense and persistent feelings of sadness and loss are what differentiates acute grief from complex grief.

Here at Flourish, we have therapists who can support you through grief and acceptance. The goal is not to forget what happened but how to process the loss, hold space for memories, and look forward to future pregnancies. Postpartum Support International PSI also offers support and resources for those who have experienced a pregnancy loss.

In your moments of grief, I want you to remember that you are not alone. Do not suffer in silence, reach out to the ones you trust, and seek professional help if it becomes overwhelming. Sometimes there is a rainbow after the storm.