These days it is hard not to feel distressed around current events, whether it be global conflict, US social political issues, climate change, economic conditions, or the upcoming election this Tuesday. It can be difficult to live our daily lives while feeling stuck in anger and resentment around injustices over which we have little or no control.
Current events can highlight difficult realities, some of which may impact your daily life and create suffering in your life or the lives of others.
In the wake of the presidential election or other major events you may feel
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Anxious or worried about what an event means for yourself or others
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Overwhelmed or stressed
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Angry or frustrated
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Sad or upset
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Afraid or unsafe
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Hopeless or powerless
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Confused about what’s happening, and how you can help
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Pressured to always stay informed or bear witness and feelings of guilt when you cannot
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Isolated, conflicted or suspicious of others – for example when other people hold opinions you don’t share
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Unable to switch off or stop scrolling – even though it might be making you feel worse
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Unsure how to talk about what’s happening – especially to younger children
A three step strategy for coping with distressing current events:
A distressing event has occurred.
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Accept that we cannot go back in time and change the outcome of the event
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Allow yourself to feel your emotions around the event without judgment
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Take action
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take action to center yourself and ground yourself in the present moment
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take action on those things which you can control
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Here are some tools to put this strategy into practice
STEP ONE
Focus on What You Can Control
Remind yourself “I cannot change what has already happened”.
Try to notice positive things in your life that are staying the same, despite other things feeling uncertain.
“Though the world feels scary and uncertain I will go to sleep next to my partner and wake up in my house that I love”
Make a list of the things you can change, and the things you can’t. Write down which parts of the situation you have control over and which parts you do not have control over.
“I cannot control the outcome of an election that has been decided. I can control the values I model to my family in my home.”
“I only have control over what I do in this moment”
STEP TWO
Prescribe Time to Grieve
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings even if they are uncomfortable. Therapy is a great space to practice holding space for your feelings without moving past them too quickly. If you are noticing the intensity of your emotions is interfering with your daily activities try prescribing yourself a time in the day to grieve. Tell yourself I have (5, 10, 15, 30, 60 min) in my day to devote to honor these feelings and outside of this time I deserve to live my daily life. Reinforce your time limit with an alarm.
-allow yourself to feel your uncomfortable emotions for the prescribed time
-try journaling about your feelings
-bring yourself back to present (you can use any of the many strategies in this blog post)
If you are struggling to articulate your feelings or identify your emotions try referencing a feelings wheel.
STEP THREE
Take action to ground yourself in the present moment
Mindfulness
Practice nonjudgmentally observing your thoughts and emotions, drawing yourself back into the present moment. For example, instead of saying “I should have done more” you can say “I notice that I am feeling regret.” This adds a degree of separation between you and the difficult emotions that arise.
Try this guided meditation
“Leaves on a Stream” is a mindfulness technique that involves observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, and placing them on a leaf that floats down a stream. The goal is to create distance from your thoughts and feelings, and to develop a non-judgmental stance towards them. This technique is used in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).
Find a quiet place to sit or lie down.
Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Visualize yourself resting by a stream.
When a thought enters your mind, notice it without judgment, and place it on a leaf.
Watch the leaf float down the stream.
If your thoughts stop, just watch the stream.
If you have the thought that the exercise is “boring, stupid, or a waste of time” place those thoughts on leaves and watch them float down the stream
Treat all thoughts and feelings the same, whether comfortable or uncomfortable.
The goal is to become aware of your experience, not to change it.
Engage Your Senses
If you notice difficulties with being present, try engaging your senses. A helpful tool is the “Five Senses Exercise.”
5. Acknowledge 5 things you see around you.
4. Acknowledge 4 things you can touch/feel around you.
3. Acknowledge 3 sounds around you.
2. Acknowledge 2 things you can smell around you.
1. Acknowledge 1 thing you can currently taste.
Tap into your senses to self-soothe for example wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, rinsing your face with warm and cold water, lighting a soothing candle or even baking.
Practice this body scan meditation or this paired muscle relaxation exercise
Use a mindful nature walk to take a break from news and screens. Try going for a walk alone or with friends and family (but without using your phone). Observe your surroundings, noticing the nature and development around you.
Engage in intense exercise. The same way stress and anxiety can impact our physicality, engaging our biology can impact the level of stress and anxiety we feel. Intense exercise, breathing exercises, changing your temperature such as taking a hot or cold shower, or trying paired muscle relaxation can help to use our biology to reduce stress and anxiety.
Take Action on That Which You Can Control
Change the things you can change
Return to your list of things you can change and write out steps to making those changes happen.
Even small actions can contribute to making a difference.
This might look like
Volunteering in your community or with family and friends
Engaging in protests and boycotts around issues close to your heart
Organizing or donating aid
Zooming in on ways to care for yourself and those close to you
Making your bed
Calling a close friend
Modeling your values
Practice Self-Care
In the face of distressing events it can feel that much harder to take care of yourself. Remember that you can control the way you care for yourself and others. Practicing good hygiene, protecting your sleep, tending to your mental health, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in physical activity is a way to show kindness to yourself and model self-care for those around you. Remember we are here to sit in these moments with you.
References
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Better Family Therapy. (n.d.). 10 Steps for Practicing Radical Acceptance. Retrieved November 3, 2024, from https://betterfamilytherapy.com/blog/10-steps-for-practicing-radical-acceptance
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DBT Self Help. (n.d.). Retrieved November 3, 2024, from dbtselfhelp.com
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Gatewell Therapy Center. (2024, April 23). Healing from Grief with DBT Skills. Retrieved November 3, 2024, from https://gatewelltherapycenter.com/2024/04/23/grief-dbt-skills/
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Group Therapy Center. (n.d.). DBT Skills for Coping With Job Loss. Retrieved November 3, 2024, from https://www.grouporttherapy.com/blog/dbt-skills-for-coping-with-job-loss
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Manhattan Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (n.d.). Retrieved November 3, 2024, from manhattancbt.com
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Mind.org.uk. (n.d.). Coping with distressing events in the news. Retrieved November 3, 2024, from https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/coping-with-distressing-events-in-the-news/
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The Feelings Wheel. (n.d.). Retrieved November 3, 2024, from https://feelingswheel.com/
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